


Roundtrip

by fictocriticism



Category: Glee
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Spoilers, written pre-4x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-01
Updated: 2012-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 10:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictocriticism/pseuds/fictocriticism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Coming back like this isn’t what he imagined.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roundtrip

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to winterlit for betaing this for me.

Kurt’s knees are shaking as the plane begins to descend. His fingers are tapping incessantly and his neighbour is shooting death glares at him, but he can’t stop. He’s drunk about three glasses of diet coke even though he knows it makes him jittery. It doesn’t matter; nothing could calm him down him right now.   
  
He waits impatiently until the seatbelt sign flicks off overhead, rushes past slow risers to the point of rudeness, nearly knocks a child in the head with his satchel. It’s all small victories; when he reaches the baggage claim he still has to wait with everyone else.   
  
He wheels his suitcase outside and blinks uncomfortably in the sunlight. Sam’s easy to spot and Kurt can’t help but grin at the easy way Sam folds him into a hug. He makes the appropriate small talk, but Sam obviously knows something’s up. Kurt wants to ask him, so many times, how Blaine’s doing, but he waits. Instead, he congratulates Sam on his Vice-Presidency with only a hint of his usual sarcasm, and lets his head rest on the back of the seat.   
  
After a little while, Sam starts playing some awful country music, which makes Kurt groan, but it’s enough noise to keep Kurt comfortably distracted as he watches the countryside pass by. It isn’t the way he thought he’d be doing this. In his imagination, this trip — the first trip back — would happen just before Christmas; he’d have successfully re-auditioned for NYADA, Blaine would have visited New York over Thanksgiving, he’d be bringing home presents for his family, and be ready to spend a week snuggled up in front of Blaine’s fireplace.   
  
His dad’s not home when the car pulls up outside. No one is, which Kurt’s pleasantly surprised by. He’d expected more complications, more obstacles, but instead he has the freedom to just duck inside, leave his suitcase at the door and a note on the counter. He smiles weakly at Sam and then grabs the Navigator’s keys (thank god his dad hasn’t managed to find a buyer just yet) and heads straight for the driveway. It’s 2:45: if he hurries he should make the parking lot just before the final bell.   
  
He pulls in and shuts off the engine, only then realising his breath is coming out in heaving, uneven bursts. Unoccupied, his knees head straight back to twitching and fidgeting. He scrubs at his cheeks briefly, pressing hard enough that he feels the skin stretch. He runs his hands through his hair, undoubtedly messing it up, but for the first time on McKinley ground he just doesn’t care what he looks like. This isn’t his place anymore, and he’s not here for anyone who will be interested in his hair.    
  
The bell rings and the slow trickle of students start. He notices Brittany and ducks further down in his seat, hoping she won’t suddenly show a hitherto unnoticed affinity for car recognition. Artie’s not far behind her, and then— there he is.   
  
Blaine’s walking with Tina, head bowed. He’s in a gorgeous button down and sweater vest, the shirt open enough to expose his throat. He’s… he’s not wearing a bowtie, and Kurt tongues at his front teeth, blinks quickly, heart beating fast. He still looks amazing, really, and he takes Kurt’s breath away exactly the same way he did all those years ago at Dalton.   
  
Kurt takes a deep breath, a gasp, really, and opens the door. He steps out, awkwardly, like he’s never had any grace in his life, and he knows his cheeks are red and his eyes are shiny. But he can’t speak, his tongue is dry, and he’s terrified that Blaine’s going to walk past—  
  
Or he’s going to  _see him_  first, and then walk past—  
  
Or he’s going to see him first, and then walk up to him and  _yell_  at him—  
  
And then he locks eyes with Tina. She stops, her mouth drops open, and her hand flies to Blaine’s. He’s talking animatedly and he glances at her quizzically before she sees what he’s looking at. And then those eyes are looking at him.   
  
He sees Blaine’s mouth move and hopes he’s saying his name, although the sound doesn’t carry.   
  
Tina murmurs something to Blaine and scuttles off and Blaine walks over, his hands playing with the strap on his bag.   
  
“Kurt?” he asks, and  _god_ , his voice — how did Kurt go this long without hearing his voice? “What are you doing here?”  
  
Kurt has to swallow twice before he can form any words. “Blaine,” he says, and he’s nearly lost it already, feels the tears thick in his throat. He can see Blaine’s eyes start to shine and he looks away. He needs to hold it together.   
  
“Blaine, I had to come and talk to you. I know you said that we were over, and I mostly understand why. And I can tell you I’m sorry a hundred times and it won’t change what happened.”  
  
Blaine blinks and looks down at his shoes. “It wasn’t all you, Kurt— god, I never wanted you to think—”  
  
Kurt cuts him off. “I know, I know. I just—, you said you wanted to work things out and be yourself and let me be myself. And I love you for that. I love that you want the best for me. And the best for you.”  
  
Kurt pauses, tries to steady his breathing. He had this perfectly mapped out on the plane, knew the best words to convey exactly why he’d come. He just hadn’t considered the amount of energy and determination it would take to overcome the emotion in his voice and the tightness in his chest. He feels drained, like he ran to McKinley rather than drove, and they’ve only seen each other for just over a minute.   
  
“But I think we’re the best for each other. And I just don’t think we should give up on this without working at it first.”  
  
Kurt takes another slow breath, nearly gasps, finding a sob in his throat without realising. Blaine looks back up.   
  
“But we  _did_  work at it, Kurt, and it didn’t—”  
  
“No,” Kurt says, “ _you_  worked. You worked alone, and I assumed we were stronger than that.”  
  
Blaine makes a muffled noise that is probably the start of a sob, and Kurt feels his chest clench painfully because he never  _ever_  wants to hear that noise again.   
  
“So, this might not be the answer to everything and all of the things that went wrong. But, I think we should try — I want to try working on this. I want you to help me, and show me how to be strong. And if you can give me another chance, I just want you back in my life.”  
  
Blaine sniffs. “Kurt, of  _course_  I want you in my life, but I can’t set myself up for heartbreak again. I just _can’t_. You don’t understand.”  
  
Kurt laughs bitterly then; he can’t help himself. “Oh, I probably have  _some_  idea.”  
  
“Don’t, just—”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Kurt says hurriedly. “I’m sorry. You know I get sarcastic when I’m nervous.”  
  
“Kurt, I’m so happy to hear you say this stuff, really I am.” Blaine says, and his eyes are earnest and just like he remembers them, looking past all his bullshit. “But this will be a lot of work. Do you get that? I don’t know if I can do this again.”  
  
Kurt feels his face fall and he closes his eyes tightly to stop the tears from spilling over his eyelids.   
  
“Jesus, don’t cry. I just— I don’t want to pretend everything is okay when it isn’t.”   
  
Kurt nods, and he gets it, really, he does, he just wants this awful in-between to be over and he wants them to be better. He wishes they could just  _be_.   
  
“Blaine,” he says firmly. “I’m here until tomorrow night. I’ll be at home that whole time because no one knows I’m back.”  
  
Blaine’s looking at him intently now, his eyes wide even though his arms are clutching around his stomach.   
  
“I want this. I want you. And I want to work for it. If you think you can do that, come find me.”  
  
Kurt looks at Blaine one more time, maybe one more final time, and pushes himself forward. He wraps Blaine up in his arms, the way he’s missed, and  _god_ , he’ll regret this if Blaine doesn’t come back to him, but it feels like he’s back to whole again and his heart is racing and Blaine is making snuffling noises against his shoulder.   
  
He steps back, wipes a tear from Blaine’s cheek. “I love you,” he says, and then slips back into his car as quickly as he can.   
  
He makes it two streets from home before he starts crying hysterically, pulls over and calls his dad to come and get him. He spends the night on the couch watching old reruns of Project Runway, his dad commentating the outfits and Carole occasionally rubbing Kurt’s shoulder as she walks past.   
  
It’s nearly 10:30 when his phone buzzes.   
  
From Blaine:  
 _Outside_.   
  
Kurt’s breath hitches and he sits up, sending the blanket sprawling from his lap. Burt looks over, takes one look at his face, and says, “Go get him.”  
  
Blaine’s on the driveway, back to the house, and Kurt drinks in the line of his shoulders.   
  
“Blaine?” he asks, and wishes for not the first time that his voice didn’t break after a bout of crying.   
  
Blaine spins and his face is just wretched, pained and tearful. Kurt feels his stomach drop and he can’t help the way his shoulders slump.   
  
“It isn’t going to be easy, Kurt,” he says and he’s taking steps towards him now, slow and nervous. “You can’t give up on us,” he says and his voice is cracking too.   
  
“You too,” Kurt says immediately. “You can’t give up either. Never.”  
  
“I can’t let you go,” Blaine says, and now he  _is_  crying, tears running down his face and he’s sniffing all the time, mostly uselessly. “Please don’t make me let you go.”  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt breathes, and gathers him in, pressing him against his body. He feels Blaine tuck his arms underneath his and it’s just like they used to hug, just how he wants it. It’s not over and it’s not easy, and they’ve got a lot of work to do. But Kurt will take it if it means holding Blaine in his arms like this again.


End file.
